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FAE 029: A Relationship Building Masterclass With Steve Sims

FAE 029: A Relationship Building Masterclass with Steve Sims

Steve is an A1 storyteller and has an amazing talent for building relationships — details of which he is very happy to share. Listen in and find out how you too can become an expert networker and create an amazing circle of contacts and friends.

To find out more about Steve, head on over to: 

Here’s the full transcript:

Paul 00:00
Relationship building master class with Steve Sims.

Paul 00:06
Hi there. I’m Paul Urwin and welcome to the freelancers and entrepreneurs Podcast, where freelancing meets entrepreneurship and business. We discuss clients sales, marketing, outsourcing, mindset, and much, much more. Find out more at freelancers and Hi there, Paul Urwin here and welcome to Episode 29 of the freelancers and entrepreneurs podcast today, I’m going to get straight into it because we got such a good interview, quick reminder that if you want to find out about coaching, if you want to find out about the free Facebook group, and the webinars and all of the other stuff, then just head on over to Right, well, today I’m here with Steve Sims. Steve is an author, speaker and consultant, he’s launched a hugely successful For concierge firm, he sets up incredible parties on yachts and in hotels around the world. He’s an A one storyteller is absolutely the case. And overall, just a really great bloke who is happy to help others. If you want to find out how to build lasting relationships with the right people, and create a network that is really going to help you and your business, then well, just keep listening. Hi, Steve, welcome to the show.

Steve 01:28
It’s a pleasure to be here. Thanks for having me.

Paul 01:30
Great to have you here. Well, you’ve got a really, really really interesting story and we’re obviously going to be delving into relationships and the art of communication and and that kind of stuff. But let’s let’s get a bit of your I know you’ve got a fascinating story. So tell us a little bit about how you got to where you are today.

Steve 01:48
First of all, please put me out there already so I better I better perform now I’m fascinated, interesting. Holocaust of mistakes. It’s it’s one of those lives where I just jumped out The frying pan into the volcano. I was a bricklayer from East London, I had a family that lived to entrepreneur ism, as a disease, as so many people did in the 80s. Let’s be serious in the 80s. And we’re both British bullies. In the 80s. If you were an entrepreneur, you Adele boy, which was a lovable little loads that never really add a job. You look at entrepreneurs now, and they’re revered as captains of industry, but it wasn’t that way in the 80s and 90s. So as a bricklayer, I knew I didn’t fit, I bounced off the walls, I got into a ton of trouble because I you know, had a DD I couldn’t sell as I say, like every entrepreneur, yeah, talked my way into a job in Hong Kong. With a resume that was greater fiction than anything that ever came out of Harry Potter. And in this resume, I’ll tell you now, it actually stated in there that I was related to the Queen of England. It was it was so strange paid. I thought to myself, someone’s got to notice this. And they didn’t. So I landed in Hong Kong last in one day was fired and started working on the door of nightclubs. And from there, I needed a way to have the people that I wanted to associate with IE wealthy people, I needed to have a reason for them to talk to me. So I became the oracle of nightlife I knew well the club’s the bars and restaurants, the premieres the openings. And so I started to just congregate these people, given them where the place was going to be in an attempt to get have them have me in their circle. So it was a weird kind of networking thing.

Paul 03:42
That’s quite interesting. It’s quite interesting. You actually even even back then you had a target market as people and avatars people might call it these days you were actually trying to associate with a certain certain group of people.

Steve 03:56
Yeah, it was jealousy. I’m working on the door. You know, people react differently to jealousy, jealousy, someone can be very hatred, jealousy can be lustful. And when I would when I was working on the door, it was a great pedestal for me to be a lawyer. I could literally watch the way people interacted with each other, you know, the group of girls going out the guys after work, the couple that are on date night, you know, you could see all of this from the front door. And they say you are the combination of the five people you hang around with. Well, my five friends were broke bikers or broke doormen. And I thought, is this my circle? And so I would look at these people in nice cars. Nice attitude. That was something that I didn’t really know was important to me until later on. Yeah, but I knew that I wanted it. And so from an early early age, I didn’t tolerate falls very well at all. Far from it. So if someone walked up to the door and they would like you know me for Club let me in. There you go board is 200 bucks. I wouldn’t let me. Yeah, yeah. But if I had a couple turn up and I go, hey, how long is this a good place? I’d really love to hang out. And you go, yeah, speak to Mary, she get you a nice table. I liked politeness. And what I didn’t realize at the time, and it’s like his experience, it always comes to seconds after you needed it most. What I discovered from a very, very early age without realizing how powerful it was, was if you can control 99.9% of the people walking through the door. You remove all problems. Yeah. And I know it’s when I coach now. I tell people, are you come on? Are you taking on checkbooks? Or are you taking on clients? And people if someone’s a bit of a house, we put it politely? If someone’s not very nice and polite, then they’re not gonna get better with age. Yeah. So what as people were coming into the club, I was Be very careful of who I filtered at the door. And I found the more I filtered, the better the club got, the more happier people were. And then I could take that into eventually my clubs and parties. So it wasn’t so much a, a networking idea. It was a filtering and a assimilation. I wanted to be you, I would look at this guy in a suit. And I’d be like, I want to be you. I want to be you, the way you treat your friends. I want to have enough money. I remember seeing this and I don’t want to go off on a tangent. You know, you get these little moments in your life, the aha moments. Yeah. So there was this group of guys that as I was jealous off, I wanted to be in that group. I was not in the group at the time. They had they were buying drinks. There was some girls on another table. They were trying to flirt with them. So they bought that table all their drinks. And then they got to the end of the night. They started coming out jovially arguing with each other who’s going to pick up the bill. You know, okay, no, I’ll get it. No. Oh, you get it all. Get it was a reverse Yeah, kinda thing. And then one of the guys just went out obviously boys, you know he did it last time you get it next time and he put his card down. And this was the thing. He put the card down inside the little card folder with the bill. No one ever actually looked to what the tab was. Yeah, now, you know you can be sensible guy. Hey, you should always look here for seats because people whip you off. But these guys, it wasn’t gonna make them bankrupt if the bar had actually stuffed on for a couple of extra drinks. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I just thought of myself because I remember being a doorman. I would walk around the local supermarket in Hong Kong, counting how much stuff was going into my cart. So I knew I had enough money. I walked into the grocery store, knowing how much money I had in my child’s cards. And these guys were buying drinks at the table so you want to you want it to be in that position. Have that I wanted to say that. Like I said then this this was by oh my god to have So much money that you don’t have to look at the bill. That’s where I was

Paul 08:02
Yeah, brilliant, brilliant. Well, there’s another interesting point in the United States of filtering that you started out doing ages ago, because I think that’s the opposite of what a lot of people try to do in business, a lot of people try and attract absolutely everyone to their business. And then they end up in a in a complete mess. Whereas if you have that sort of filtering system, that’s our targeting system, then it helps as you said, it helps help the clubs to grow, it helps businesses to grow.

Steve 08:30
Well, I ended up throwing parties and clubs just to get more of the rich people to come and talk to me. And I never, ever, ever had a fight, or anyone kicked out in any one of my events. And I’ve done this for 20 plus years now. That’s crazy. So I found that if you control who’s coming through the front door, never did you have now I ended up recruiting a lot of the people that I’d worked with to work on the door. They loved working on the door, because they got paid to do nothing. Yeah, and I absolutely loved it. So It is very, very valuable and again didn’t realize how powerful it was at the time. But even now, I control everyone coming into my life to remove all problems in the future.

Paul 09:11
Okay, sounds good. Sounds good, but we still work quite a bit of the journey to go. So you’ve obviously moved on a lot since then you’re in Los Angeles right now. So tell So fill in that little, that little bit for us.

Steve 09:22
I started working on the door. Then I started taking over the club on quiet nights and like creating my own theme nights and inviting only the people I wanted to hang around with. And then continued that then I went from throwing parties in clubs to throwing parties on yachts in mansions in pen houses, started doing them in Japan, Macau, Hong Kong, Bangkok moved down to Bangkok when the 97 handout I hand back happened. So I’m now doing a lot of Southeast Asia. Then I started doing events in like Monaco. Start London even. Not much in London but predominately Europe. Yeah. And then it just grew. Then I started, we were the official partner of the New York Fashion Week narus which ones to Grammys Cavalier, no Ferrari classic events. The Davis a tennis championship. Then I started working for elton john, for his Oscar parties. So it just, I went from getting people into a seedy nightclub in Wang Chai, Hong Kong to literally partnering with the biggest Oscar party in in the planet here in Los Angeles with with some elton john de furnish. So the journey while it sounds colorful, yeah, yeah, it does. And you can name drop, you get sick of it, which some of you probably already are, but the principles never changed. Focus on the people you’re working with focus on the people coming through the door. Whether it be doing it in a pub in the back room of a pub or Whether or not it’d be in taken over a mansion in the Hollywood Hills, control your front door, and that will control your life.

Paul 11:07
That’s a great principle. But I know there’s a little bit more behind it than that. Were you a big risk taker we put in lots of capital into into these events? Were you taking the earnings from one applying them into another? were you using any particular tricks or not set Let’s not say tricks, but strategies to get more of the right people into into your events? Tell us about some of that stuff.

Steve 11:33
So um, I’m not a risk taker, even though if you look to my life You think I would be Yeah, I’m not I focus on the move in friction and liability. Okay. And you say about, you know, tricks and then you rephrased it to structure. Let’s be honest, structural comes after you’ve tried a few things. Yeah. And those few things can you know, fail or, you know, these hacks and tricks are what becomes the formation of The structure down the line. Yep. I’m going to tell you exactly how it started. And even today, how I do my events. Okay, great. So what I did was I went out to the people that I wanted at the event. My focus was just one thing on an event. The people, you can add music, you can add pretty bartenders, you can add a pretty environment. But without people, it’s a waste of time. Yeah. Okay. Focus on those people. So what I did was I said to him, I’m holding a party. Next week. I remember my first party I threw, we couldn’t we would taken over a yacht. Now, the reason we took over yacht was because Hong Kong had thousands upon thousands of yachts. And you didn’t have the restriction for drinks on a yacht. If you take over a hotel, you’ve got food and beverage costs and the hotel charging three times more than it’s worth, sure, but by having it on a yacht, you didn’t have that problem. So we took out we wanted one These shots, we couldn’t work out which one to have, and we wouldn’t negotiate in on all three. So I thought, okay, filter dreams. Let’s sell it and find out how many people want to go before we know what size of yacht we need. Okay, work in reverse. Yeah. So we told everyone, you know, was the last Friday night you ever had a fantastic night? Wouldn’t you like next Friday night to be an event you talk about for the next month? Wouldn’t you like to hang around with like minded people? So we pull this vision into their head, you know, beautiful, what they call now sales copy? Yep. Okay. Yeah. You know, we’re having a yacht party on this night, a week before the event. We’ll let you know where. Okay, and we sold it for 500 bucks because you weren’t going to pay for food or drink once you were in. One of the other things is you need a drink license if you’re selling drink. So we gave the drink away but we sold you in advance to actually get on this. So that was how I work around. Okay, so we sold already Have these tickets. And people are like, Oh, it’s so secretive. You don’t even know where we don’t even know where it is. We didn’t even know what it was.

Paul 14:08
Yeah. So from that sort of necessity or that sort of restriction, you actually created even more interest in your event.

Steve 14:15
Will you There was always come up, oh, this is secretive. This is underground, you know, there was this apprehension that built up. And so, we did it the first time. Second time we went, Okay, that was good. We made money, we got the right size job. And we’re gonna do it again. Now, if you do one, hey, you may get a lucky hit. You know, you do it twice. And there’s, you know, maybe some rollover from the people that lied to the night before, but you’ve lost your wind, you know, you’re not, you’re not trendy anymore. You’re not you know, you’re not the hot topic. And then, but if you’ve done it four times, now your tips and tricks and hacks is now a structure is now a formula. Now Yeah, we went from doing that, and of course, when we started getting to like the 80 or 90 people, we were like, well hang on a minute. We can’t really do that on a yacht now now that we’re starting to get up into the hundreds, we got to get the house, we got to get the mansion we so it started to grow. And nowadays what we do, I’ve run events called speakeasies. And those tips and tricks that I used then, are literally what I do now we literally, we had, if I’d I’ll tell you about the past one, because I’m not trying to sell you on it. We do an event called the speakeasy and when the the end of the speakeasy is the location, so we’ve done speakeasy, New York speakeasy San Diego, three weeks ago we did speakeasy Reno. Yeah, it was $2,000 a person and they had to meet us on day one at the North door at the Atlantis hotel at 930 in the morning, with closed toed shoes and long shirt.

Paul 15:54
Okay, mysterious. Famous status, isn’t it?

Steve 15:56
Yeah sold out. We only have a maximum of 40 people out of events we sold out. Okay. They waited there, not knowing the apprehension. You know, it was all over the place. Now, let me tell you this.

Let me ask you this. How can you let someone down if they don’t know what they’re getting?

Steve 16:17
Good question here. All right. So yeah, my fridge my liability was low, let’s say for argument’s sake. And let’s be blunt, you know, because this is for entrepreneurs, correct?

Paul 16:27
Yep, absolutely

Steve 16:28
So let’s be blunt. If I’d have only sold 10 places, I’d have either reduced what I was doing a lot of maybe canceled it and move the day out given me longer chance to resell it. Yep. Okay. As it is I sold out. I took those people on a bus and we went out into the in the boonies of Nevada into Reno. Okay, yep, I’m about right out into gold rush territory. Right in the middle of this area is Elon musk. Gigafactory the largest, largest single footprint building in the planet, okay, yep, they had a private tour of Elon Musk’s Giga factory. They came out. They had a lineup of all the latest Tesla’s for them to test drive around the hills. They came back there were food trucks, then we’ve got them in a bus and then we took them home again. Okay. But we took them some other stuff in the afternoon, but I’ll pass on that. The point is, they never knew what they were going to get.

Paul 17:30
So, and yeah, and yeah, I bet they’re all really happy at the end of it.

Steve 17:33
Oh, yeah. And of course, they then talk about and now we’re doing one cool speakeasy Silicon Valley. We’re only about maybe a third sold out at the moment. We haven’t advertised and we haven’t promoted it. But already people like they can’t touch it. They go What are we doing? And you say, yeah, we’re gonna have fun. Yeah, you know, where are we gonna go? We’re gonna go places whom we’re gonna meet people. You know, we, we don’t tell them anything. So that that failure of Being able to organize things appropriately on the first event, has now transformed itself into a structure of how we do all events. We don’t tell you where you’re going. We’ll tell you some hotels that are local to where we’re going to be. But we won’t tell you anything more. And I think now people want to be excited. They want the excitement and the app and so that the creativity, the Oh my god, what are we gonna do? He did this last time, and he did. So yes, you’ve got to keep up your standards. But again, I can’t let you down. If I haven’t promised you what you’re gonna get.

Paul 18:36
Yeah, that’s genius. It’s absolute genius.

Steve 18:38
Wow, I’d love to say so. But my wife.

Paul 18:42
Very, very good. Very good. Okay, so I got another question for you now. And it’s um, yeah, I know. You’ve built up this incredible network of people over the years connections and relationships. So do Do you consider yourself a good networker?

Steve 18:55
No, not that can be that can be a very, very quick question for any of the people that have never seen what I look like. And you have for a few seconds. I’m not the person you want to poach in you in an event. I’m six foot, you know, 16 I think 16, maybe 18 stone of ugly. As all, as a doormen as a biker that I am, I fit well into that world. But as the guy does walk for starting, never wear suits, I always wear black t shirts. So I’m the guy that’s gonna turn up to the to the network and event in a black t shirt. And this is how I network. I like to have a conversation. I don’t like the prairie dogs. They’re just trying to accumulate business cards. I don’t like those. So whenever I go to an event for a start, there’s gotta be a reason. And the only networking events I go to is where someone said, Look, it would help me if you support me, or if you could come or if you could say a few words. Yes, I’m always there for a reason. Okay, yeah. And if I go, I do this. I walked through the front door Walk straight to the corner of the bar. And I order my old fashioned, okay, yeah. And I will sit there and I’ve got a bit of a scowling face, just just naturally. So a lot of people avoid me. But if you can go past that, I’m probably going to dig myself grave here. But if you can go past and someone can go, Hey, you know, what are you hoping to get out of tonight? You know, you may get something like, you know, I’ll say oh, you know, free sausages and drink, you know, why are you here. And if they can still continue, I want to have a conversation. I’m not there for the weekend will fall. But I love to come out of an event. Having had two nice conversations, rather than walking out of the event with 50 business cards that I could not put a face to each card.

Paul 20:54
That is such a low and yet really impressive at the same time target to have two two real conversations and I think a lot of Miss Miss the importance of that and come up with with the 50 business cards and basically just end up at the bottom of a drawer somewhere.

Steve 21:09
Well, let’s put it this way. You know, I run the concierge, I run a concierge company, my party planning turned into one of the world’s most successful, private experiential concierge firms. I only ever had I think we peaked at like about 280 clients in 20 plus years, 208 clients, every single one of them was a millionaire or billionaire. You don’t need numbers, you need quality.

Paul 21:32
That’s amazing. That’s amazing advice as well. I think that you can build such a big business with with just 290 clients at one time is is incredible, because I think a lot of people think that you do need thousands if not millions. You do if you’re McDonald’s. Yeah, but you don’t if you’re selling g five, you know jets or $10 million Ming’s, you know, you need, you need people that can buy them. So this is brilliant stuff, but let’s delve into it. A bit. More into how do you how do you build the relationships with this particular target market? Which is a, you know, very high level people, very wealthy people. How does that happen? Because I, I can understand your example about being at a conference and sort of sitting at the bar and chatting to people. That’s, that’s fantastic. And obviously, you’re going to meet some great people from from, you know, different, different walks of life if you like, but how do you how do you get in front of the right people? And how do you continue to do that on a regular basis?

Steve 22:27
So for one, you’ve got to be you. And secondly, my big concern with the statement you’ve mentioned is high level. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I was high level.

Paul 22:40
Yeah, I don’t mean to sound I don’t I don’t want to make rich people sound better than people who don’t well

Well, as much as I was. I was picking on you to make the example but the fact is, most people do. Most people turn around and they go, well look at him, you know, he’s successful. He’s rich. You know, he’s he’s all that Status he’s that he’s that level of but you’re pushing the person away and sticking them on a pedestal. You can’t have a relationship with someone when you’re putting them on a pedestal. And the funny thing is when you meet successful people, you realize that successful at one, too, possibly three things, but not everything. You know, I can do I can do things better than evil Musk, I can do bad things and Obama can do bad things and then Trump and Richard Branson, I can do better things but in their speciality, I can’t. So the first thing I do is I talk to people like normal people. You’re exceptional in that area. I’m exceptional in this area. I have a greater I can and I do an IQ. And I’ve noticed the most of the clients I deal with because they get so plateaued, they get pushed up onto such a level. They start Stop becoming spoken to like a human being. Yeah, they get veered to get on. It’s almost like bowing to the cow in India. Yeah, um, you can’t have they become very lonely. And that’s such a shame for that to happen. So, when I’m speaking with people, I’m like, Hey, how you doing Steve Sims? The first thing I did, and let’s get down to the nuts of it. If I want to communicate with someone that successful, the first thing I will do is I will do some research on what their likes and dislikes are. And I will go and I will Google them. And I will look up that social feeds, and I will look up the images and if I see on the images, there’s a load of vintage Porsches, or there’s a load of horses, then you either know they like cars or they’re into a question. Yeah. So you can go up to someone I go, Hey, how you doing? And this has worked well, you will come to a rock star. The worst thing you can do is go home. We love you. Music I love this tune. Oh, this tune was great. And oh, this one meant so much. Because how many times have I heard that? Yeah, millions. But if you walk up to and you go, hey how you doing? Someone said to me that you actually like horses? Why? Why do you like horses? So it for two things happen one. It kind of throws them off what they are expecting more you’re going to talk about. I’ve been next to some very famous people and they’ve said to me as people are walking over. What is there an autograph for selfies? Are they just gonna tell me how much they love Bond movies? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s what I’m expecting. So if you go over and you go, Hey, I love horses. I heard somewhere down the line that you love horses. I spoke to Brad Pitt about motorcycles. Okay, yeah. When you speak to someone about something they love, it engages them. And so totally unexpected for them. And then I can just imagine them sort of really cheap. tuning into the conversation because they’re thinking, well hang on a minute, this is just, this is different.This is two guys talking about something that both people love. Yeah, you know, and you’re now in a QA, you’re now having two people on equal status, having a conversation. There’s no pedestal. And, and you can actually then twist that in. And you can say, hey, yeah, I know you’d love to. But I also heard something about a book. I don’t want to go the step here. But I’m really good at marketing. I’ve got a couple of ideas how I can actually help you with your book. Would that be of interest? You’re helping them now. Yeah, now, I’ve had if I my I tell you a quick story, of course. Of course. Go ahead.

Paul 26:40
This is stuff so absolutely.

Steve 26:43
So named drop. Richard Branson introduced someone to me because he wanted to meet the rock band journey. And I spoke to the guy and I said, Hey, how you doing? You know, what do you want to do? And he went, I want to meet the rock band journey. And I sit tomorrow. That’s great. That’s fantastic. Why do you want to do that first lesson. No one ever tells you what they really want. They tell you what sounds good. And that puts them in the best possible light. You have to dig to try and find out what is the core reason for them wanting to do this. Okay, yeah, so I was on it sounds great. Why do you want to do it? Oh, I love Jenny. Oh, great. But so a lot of people you know what, what makes them so different in your what inspires you about? Why is it so important to you on the phone with me to get this done? And so you question you challenge them. It turns out that when he was a young kid at college to earn money, he was the lead singer of a cover band for a journey cover band in a bar. Okay. Yeah. He had that experience. He knew all the tunes. Now, this has shocked everyone over his life. He became ill. He lost people. He lost money, he lost businesses. This may sound familiar because it’s called a life of an entrepreneur. Yeah. But also All the way through those ups and downs of his life. He played jurnee music as a theme tune to inspire him to stand up and get on again. And he said, Now I’m pretty set. Yeah, I want to go back and tell them how important it was for that music that it did not. So hang on. This isn’t just a meet and greet. Yeah, this is way different stories and it’s completely morphed. I said, this is the theme track, the theme tune to your movie. Therefore the final the finale of this movie can’t be you shaking hands with these guys, as they’ve just come off a stage screaming in front of 20,000 people, and they’ll forget your name before they’ve even got to that change in men. It’s got to be something more dramatic than that. Yeah. So I contacted journey. Now the first question you ask is, well, how did you do that? I always get other people to introduce me. So if there was someone that was another podcast, I wanted to get to him. And I was talking to you and I found out you knew them. I would get you to make the introduction. Yeah. Because you’re more credible when introduced by someone of credibility. So, I went to my music people and I went, Hey, does anyone know journey? turned out the five people I contact one of them said, I actually know the drama. I said, Make an introduction because I’ve got a fan that wants to meet the drummer and wants to meet journey and he’s like, oh, man, you said I made the intro. Now I did my research on on the drama of journey. I found out his son had autism. My clients brother’s son had autism. So when I actually spoke to Joanie, I said, Look, let’s cut to the chase. I’ve got a very successful affluent client that wants to meet you to say thank you for the inspiration your music gave him through the ups and downs. But before I asked you to allow him to do something special with you. I’m wondering how we can actually bring attention to Autism Speaks. In doing this. I hit the drummer with something he was passionate about. Now, the focus was not on getting a rich guy to do something with the rock band. It was how can we generate exposure for autism, in doing this amazing is a completely completely different way of approaching things.

Steve, I think the problem is that most people don’t do anything like what you were doing in order to connect people and create these relationships. I think most of us are just guilty of going out and spamming whether it’s online or in the real world and trying to get as many people as possible and just trying to get things done as quickly as possible without slowing down, taking the time. Finding points in common and really creating those relationships.

30:53 Steve
Yeah, you’re totally buy and as the world is now moving into AI and we have Amazon Alexa, Google Go Siri, we’re losing the ability to communicate all of the people all of the programs and platforms I just mentioned to you they respond to your request. You know, I need toilet bowl Yeah, phone up so and so make this happen booked this appointment. What they don’t do is think, create and dream. Well you’ve got to do today is everything that they do those AI platforms and everything they don’t. And Siri doesn’t dream and desire, Siri doesn’t imagine well you’ve got to do is you’ve got to start doing that. So you’re still have value. The second you just and it goes back to my events. The second you give a client, what they asked for. That’s called a transaction and you’re just waiting to go bankrupt. You’re not aware of it. But you started the ticking clock by just doing that. If you’re a baker and someone comes in and says hey, I need a red cake for Sunday. That’s fantastic. Let me do that for you what size you want? 12 inch red Fine, yeah, let me do that for you. Hey, well, we’re talking. Why is the big cake so important? What is red symbolize? Oh my, my age for my dad is his birthday and he loves Ferrari. So we thought bread cake will be good. Well, how about this? I can either do the emblem of Ferrari on the top, or I can actually provide a little Ferrari cars around the outside. Would that make it better? You’re adding stuff to it. you imagine? Now the guy’s not just buying the cake. He’s buying something that’s got a lot more meaning. Yeah. Yeah, just because I deal with millions of dollars to get people down to the Titanic or piano lessons without on or getting married in the Vatican. All stuff that I’ve done. The principle doesn’t change give more than what the client asked for.

Paul 32:47
Because you’ve got that you’ve got that inquisitive approach that you always want to find. I love the way you just take that extra bit of time. It’s quite a bit of extra time with the research and everything to find the best story behind the story if you like, but just imagine how many networking events and I hate that word. But how many conferences, parties social events, do you go to per? per month?

Steve 33:13
per month? A month? Probably one per month on average.

Paul 33:19
All right. So that’s 12 a year. Yeah. Imagine if you could form two relationships. Remember I said to you that I only want two good conversations. Imagine you could form two relationships. At each event. You’ve now got 24 people have the you’ve started vesting, focus in work in research and on establishing a relationship to better you and to better them 24 people a year that are now solid resources and relationships for you, that you have to keep working on continuously after the event and not see it as an isolated event. As well, right?

Steve 34:00
Correct, correct. Think of it as a young tree. You know, when you plant a young tree, you have to prune it, nurture it, feed it, you know, make sure everything’s trimmed around, make sure it doesn’t get any viruses. When things are young, they’re fragile. When the trees five years old, you can water it once a month. So once you’ve established the relationship, then you can go into maintenance mode. When you’re building a relationship, you have to go into nurturing mode. But I’ve got relationships that are very, very strong, that I make a point of speaking to, or connecting or communicating with once a year. And there are new relationships that I’ve got last year that I’ll make sure that every four months a minimum some some touch point has happened there. Now, let me be serious to touch point could be Hey, Jimmy, I know we haven’t spoken for a while but I saw the new movie with Brad Pitt. In Hollywood the other day is a really cool movie. I think you’d love it. Yeah glasses that reminded me of you. Enjoy Maybe, and that can just be by text.

Paul 35:03
Yeah, ok, yeah that’s that’s a touch point. You know, you could track of all these touch points. Do you have some kind of, I guess, demo? Yeah.

Steve 35:10
Again, it’s not a system. It’s my outlook. So what I do, and I’m keeping all my secrets away, now I’ve got Julie Valon. In my Outlook, I will put in there, sent him a text about my about the Hollywood movie that I saw last night made reference to his eyeglasses. He came back to me and said, thanks a lot. By the way, he made a comment that he’s got a new dog called Perry and it’s it’s pulled all over the carpet. Okay, yeah. What I’ll do is I’ll make a note of that in the contact in the notes part of my Microsoft Outlook. Okay, yeah. Then what I will do is I will go into the date, and I will forward that three months into the future. Yeah. So now I can forget because in three months time, I’m gonna get an alarm. Reach out to me, you know, whatever. Have the clients night? Yes, yeah. And it’s gonna be, you know, made a note about my Hollywood movie. And he told me about his dog called Perry. So then I can reach out to him I go, Hey, was thinking about you the other day, it’s probably still crapping all over the floor, you know. And it will just be abstract, and it will take two seconds.

Paul 36:18
Other things personal, it’s personal. It’s a personal touch in a short period of time.

Steve 36:23
There’s other ways of doing it. Like I speak on a lot of stages. I’m very fortunate that I do that. Yeah.

Paul 36:29
well, you’ve got an incredible, incredible way with words, Steven, you got some brilliant stories. So that doesn’t surprise me at all.

Steve 36:37
But what I’ll do is I’ll be on stage with another guy, and he’ll be an author. And I’ll say to me, you know, I loved your presentation. And what’s your book about? Oh, my books about blah, blah, blah. So okay. How would you help? Excuse me, how would you like to get your book in the hands of 200 of some of the coolest people in America, you know, all the world. Yeah, no authors ever gonna say no. And so they go, Oh, I’d love that. Right? How much you charge a book and they may go is 20 bucks, publishers, authors always get published late. So the book could be like about three or $4. It doesn’t cost them a lot. I have said to them, oh, you know, I’m a publisher, like, you know, and I’ll send them off. Every single time I say that, because I’m being aware of the cost involved. Yeah, they’ve turned around and they’ve gone. Absolutely no, Steve, I’m just gonna send them to you. And they send me the books. And then inside I put a little note, I get them to sign them. And I’ll often do a little video. And I’ll say, hey, Tim, stand next to me. And I’ve done this with Tim Ferriss. Ryan long Tucker, Max. So Ryan Holiday. Yeah, I’ve done it, you know, tons of people. And I’ve gone Hey, I just want to let you know that I’ve just heard Tim Ferriss talk on stage. Brilliant, got a new book coming out. I want you to have the book. So Tim, you’ve agreed to allow me to send him the book for you. And he’s like, Yeah, Steve, I’ll get off to a great. Now notice on that video, I never mentioned the client’s name. Okay, yeah. When was the last time your friend ever came up to you? and said, Hey, how you doing Steve Sims? Yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah, yeah, you it doesn’t happen does it? So then what I do is I take that video, and I will text it to all of the people I’m going to send a book to. And they all think the videos personal just to them. Yeah, yeah. And it takes there’s even programs where you can feed it in and it will just pop it out for you. So you know from your number. So you can you can automate it and change it. So one minute they’ll get like a little text. next minute, they’ll get a video on a book land. You know, next minute they may get an invite to you speaking gigs whenever you speak in event, you know, you’ll get the sponsors of tournaments The producers are turned on go. If you want some tickets for your friends and I’ll turn around, I’ll go Yeah, I may want 20 tickets. Now you may have 600 people in your Rolodex. If people still have voted, you know what I mean? Yeah, you may have 600 people that you’re communicating with. The fact of the matter is your contact Auto 600 by email. I love text. So I do most of my work by text, and just go, Hey, I’m speaking the end of September in Nevada for a real estate convention. I chatted with them today. And they said, I can invite a few people. If that’s of interest to you. Let me get your free ticket. You don’t have to worry about it. Now, you send that out to 600 people. How many people do you think are going to take you up on the offer of a free ticket to come and hear you speak?

Paul 39:48
Quite a few.

Steve 39:50
Yeah. I’m sending this out to people all over the world. So the couple that are hugely affluent in Japan, you think they’re gonna fly all the way over the last Everyone. No. So I’m telling you now you’ll get less than 10% pickup. Okay? Yeah, if they’ve seen you speak before, I’ve seen it state you’ll get the kind of comments can add. I’ve seen you Babylon. I’ve heard your story about the Pope, you know, it wasn’t funny, then it’s not gonna be funny now. So you’ll get that kind of interaction. Who cares? You were just looking for an excuse to be in contact with them. What did it cost you it cost you a text didn’t even cost you the ticket because the event you’re speaking at they gave it to you for free. Yeah, so these are just ways.

Paul 40:33
Now this is a nice strategy. As we took mentioned, you know, one of those hacks that turned into it turned into a structure or a strategy basically.

Steve 40:41
And it’s not expensive because it’s free, but it is hellishly impactful. And I think the problem is today, we’re too smart for our own good. And we sit down we go. Well, for me to be able to connect with people all over the planet. I need a $60,000 CRM program and it needs to be linked to my Infusionsoft staggered email sequence. No, you don’t need simplify text, text someone. Yeah. I’ve literally been in bars. And I’ve written speeches on this. So if you go on YouTube, you’ll find this. I’ve actually been in bars in different places all over the world. I was in Howie’s bar in Venice. And I said to the guy, I need a bunch of beer mats. And he gave me a bunch of beer mats. And I took him back to the hotel and I wrote something on the back of every beer map. And I posted it from Venice to a bunch of my clients and they got a beer mat. And it said on there, this beer mat has had four whiskies three of them. I was thinking of you all the best Steve. You know, it just something I love it. I love it. Yeah. I love it. But let me let me be honest with you, if I sent you and you got an envelope from Venice. Yeah. And it’s got something in it. There’s obviously car body and you open it out and there’s a beer mat from Harry’s Bar, and he’s got me scribbling something on the back of it. Would that make you smile?

Paul 41:59
Absolutely. Absolutely, it’s not about the value of it, that sort of, you know, monetary value. It’s the fact that you’ve taken, you’ve taken the time to send something out with that, with that personal touch. And I think it’s amazing. It’s amazing. And like you said, it’s not, it’s not something that’s costing you huge amounts of money. Because even when you do deal with things that have more value than a BIM at, you’re managing to sort of, I don’t know, leverage your, your position or or make it work somehow, I think it’s brilliant.

Steve 42:31
It’s the impact over price tag, nothing I one of the things I do is whenever I go to clients, birthday parties or celebrate something with a client or something like that, no one’s ever received a gift for me over $15. And the reason that is, is because if I tell you, hey, you’ve got to buy me a gift, but you can’t spend more than five bucks. You’re gonna start thinking of creative ways to make that five bucks as impactful as possible. Yeah, it’s Your clients. Here’s a perfect example I had a client of mine that was talking to me about his shoes. And he had these really nice shoes and he was telling me about I had the made in Venice and you know, is this kind of leather and these my favorite shoes, I bought my cleaning cloth. I went down and I said, you know, if I was going to buy a cleaning cloth, you can buy the Rolls Royce of cleaning cloths, for like $4 25 cents, you know, and you stick in a bag and you go, Hey, I want you to choose to stay looking good. Here’s a cleaning cloth. I don’t know much about them. But they told me this is one of the best ones out there. Or a shoe horn. That that actually did really, really well for me when the airlines started restriction restricting the amount of metal that you could take on carry ons. Yep, they started. The first thing they hit was the shoe horns. Now a guy gets on business class would have shoes on slips issues off because his feet expand on a plane, that he can’t get his bloody shoes back on what he’s trying Want to get off the plane? Yeah. Okay, if he doesn’t have a shoe horn, he’s now awkwardly sticking his finger in there with a spoon to try and get it done. So you go on Amazon, and you buy 20 tortoise shell, shoe horns, and one of them will cost you less than 100 bucks. Yeah, okay probably cost you about 50 bucks when you’re buying them in that bulk and you send them to people

Paul 44:26
No, I love this. I love this. I think it’s I it’s just this Yes, it it’s the thought that goes into it. It’s the thought and people value the thought and people I think you talk about AI and Infusionsoft and things like that people really value when someone takes the time to to share that personal touch and that sort of, you know, real consideration. So I think it’s Yeah, amazing stuff. Amazing stuff, Steve. Well, I’ll tell you why I could chat all day. I can’t wait to listen back to this interview because there’s so much great stuff in there so much amazing stuff in there also. I really hope that I get to See you and listen to one of your talks in, in person, because I know you’ve got so many amazing stories. And I actually, I’m going to take a look on YouTube myself, I would encourage the listeners to do just that as well, because I know there’s some great stuff out there. So apart from the way you tell it, which is extremely entertaining, I must say, apart from that there’s some real substance in there. There’s some real golden nuggets of advice there. So I thank you so much for that, Steve. I really, really appreciate it. And yeah, I mean, I just give you a minute or two to wrap up if there’s anything else you’d like to say and sort of share your details or share any anything that you want that you want to really, but thank you

Steve 45:42
I can give you a shortcut to help it. If you go to Steve D Sims. There’s only one name in Sims So as my website. If you sign up for our newsletter. The first newsletter you received the welcome one will give you a cheat sheet tomorrow. Book bluefish in the art of making things happen. That’s also available on audio that I actually read while sipping a whiskey. So that’s quite comical me doing that. That became a bestseller, but it did really well. But you’ll also get a video called the chug test. And it’s one of the core components that I train people in my coaching program is how to audit your social circle. And I think as entrepreneurs, we sometimes we focus on doing stuff. Yeah, we don’t always clean up the remnants behind it. So we end it we end up with stringers and hangers on. And if you can control your social the people around you, you’re going to look after yourself just in the same way that I did when I when I was very particular of who came through the front door. So Steve d Sign up for the email. If you download my emails, unsubscribe, there’s nothing to pay. But it will give you that video and it’s my video in my gouge talking about my infamous chug test. But from there, you can hear about the book. You can hear about my speakeasies. You can see a bunch of videos on there with me from, you know, Jay Abraham and a whole bunch of weird misfits I like to call friends. And you can just hear about what I’m up to and where I’m traveling to.

Paul 47:14
Brilliant. Brilliant. Well, thanks so much, Dave. You’ve been a real real talk, man. I’ve really, really enjoyed it. And thanks for sharing such great advice in such a such a brilliant way. So yeah, I hope I hope we get to talk again soon. And I wish you all the very best with with all your stuff.

Steve 47:33
Thanks, mate. Cheers. Cheers, buddy. Cheers. All right. Thanks a lot. Bye bye.

Paul 47:37
Well, that was a good one, wasn’t it? I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. If you’d like to find out more about what we have to offer and to check out the show notes, then head on over to www dot freelancers, and That’s all for this week. I hope you tune in again soon and all the very best with your business. Bye For now


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